The Changing Face of Marriage

Since I went a Catholic pre school at the age of three, it is hard for me to remember if I first learned about God and Catholicism through my parents or my school. I was baptized as a baby as raised Catholic, but I don't recall ever talking to my parents about the importance of religion or God. They are both practicing Catholics, but they may have thought I would be too young to understand before I went to pre school. The episode that we watched of Parenthood gave many different views of family. It showed two unmarried parents with a son, a family who unsuccessfully wants to adopt, a single mom, and a married man who has a child with disabilities and is having trouble supporting his family. All of these different scenarios can definitely present challenges, and it seems that the challenges of not receiving a baby or financial troubles can be better dealt with when you have someone else along for the ride with you. I plan on graduating college and graduate school way before I establish a family, but if the study is correct, I hope my education will aid my marriage. I definitely am going to raise my kids Catholic, because God is an important part of my life now. I want my husband and I to set a good example for my kids, and I think that establishing a domestic church can be the first step in the right direction.

Dating and Marriage

I think that people look for a significant other for many reasons. People seek out companionship, friendship, and love. A spouse is somebody you can go to for anything no matter what, knowing they will be there for you. I think the initial search for a spouse is self-fulfillment, but after you finally find that special person, you sacrifice things for them, because their happiness is of the utmost importance. In my future husband, I hope to find somebody to love unconditionally, but also somebody who will be my best friend. I need to be able to be myself without any inhibitions, and know that I will be loved for everything that I truly am. I think these reflect both modern and Christian values, because people want to love and be loved, and Christians believe in complete commitment and fidelity.

Dating: What's the Point?

I disagree with the statement that dating is just practice for divorce. Though the divorce rate is going up, everyone who has a healthy relationship began with dating each other before they were married. Obviously the times have changed and people have become a lot more casual when it comes to hook ups, especially in the experimental years of high school and college. This is not a good thing, but I don't think it is influencing divorces. I think that things such as rushing into a relationship, infidelity, and distrust are bigger factors of divorce than having wild teenage years. My peers and I are all very different. Some have boyfriends and some do not even talk about boys. I don't think there is really a norm, because every person is different. Overall, I by no means think that dating is a waste of time because without dating you cannot meet the person you are meant to be with.

Some Say Love...

The qualities and characteristics of love that i hope to experience in my future relationships are just being really passionate about one another and devoted. I want to be able to be myself around my spouse and not have to try to look good all the time. The song "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction is about how the boy is infatuated with this girl who is shy and doesn't know how great she is, even though she is plain. I think that is nice because it shows that you don't have to be a supermodel to get noticed. Also the song "Fine By Me" by Andy Grammer is about a man who loves his girlfriend and wants to spend all his time with her. This cute kind of love is very appealing. Love songs, though they can be sappy, are good portrayals of love because they can be relatable and are pleasurable to listen to. "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5 is about a man who is always there for a girl who is always being broken hearted, but no matter how many times she strays away from him to be let down, he is always there for her. That kind of love seems agapic because the man is willing to help the girl no matter how many times she remakes the same mistakes. I think that the article about the quest for a soulmate is valid because I agree that people work so hard to find their "soulmate" that they lose sight of finding someone that will be their best friend, too, and then end up fighting for their marriage way earlier than expected. The song "Slow Dancing In a Burning Room" by John Mayer relates to this, because it is about a couple that was once completely infatuated with each other, but over time their love died and they have to accept the fact that their relationship does not have hope for the future. Though it is a sad reality, it is one that many couples must face. Many people may not find someone who defines their criteria for "soulmate," but that does not mean that they cannot find someone who makes them happy and can spend the rest of their life with. "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts is about how two people's journeys through relationships and heartbreak eventually lead them to each other, and once they are together they know that it is meant to be. This song is nice because it realistic in a way that it explains that not all love is going to work out, but everything happens for a reason and God's plan will eventually fall into place.

Little Women

When I was younger I was a big fan of Barbies. I had the Barbie townhouse, plane, Porsche, and runway. I had a million different outfits for her, never realizing how skimpy they were. My parents didn't really limit the toys I played with because they were the ones who purchased them for me so they could see it before it got into my hands. I was allowed to watch all of the shows on Disney and Nickelodeon and the other kids' programs, but was not allowed to watch the reality shows on MTV like Real World. My exposure to suggestive media has made minimal impact on the way that I perceive myself. Of course I will look at an airbrushed celebrity and wish that I looked like her, but I have never looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. I think my experience at an all girls school has made me less impressionable to the media, because we can openly talk about our flaws without worrying about being judged by boys listening to us. It sounds stereotypical, but I think that girls who go to public school tend to wear less clothing and more make up because they are constantly trying to impress the boys around them and are taking their critiques, whereas girls at single sex schools only have other girls' opinions to worry about, which to me aren't very important.

Sources of My Identity

The first and main source of my identity is my family. They have been with me since my birth, and have shaped me into the person I am today. My mom is headstrong and determined, which has been passed down to me. My dad is compassionate and understanding, which I am still working on. My sister, Tina, has an amazing personality and is liked by everyone she meets. By surrounding myself with positive people, I am able to build a positive identity. Second is my friends. I have been in many different friend circles throughout my life, whether it was in school, sports, or the shore. My school friends were not always solid in grade school, which helped me realize with whom I should really surround myself. I was lucky to become associated with a great group of friends in high school, and other friends on my lacrosse team. They are all so funny and outgoing, which helped me come out of my shell. My friends at the shore are from all different states and schools, which taught me how to adjust to diversity. Lastly, my coaches have shaped me. Sports have been a huge part of my life since I was five, so I have been associated with a plethora of coaches. Some were pushovers, some were tough, some were people I knew, and some were strangers. These coaches were once authority figures in my life, teaching me discipline and the benefits of hard work. Thanks to my coaches I have become a fighter, which is another ingredient in my whole identity.